Independence is empowering—it’s what we’ve fought for, what we’ve earned. But sometimes, it feels like we’re standing in a league of our own, asking ourselves: have we become too independent?
Growing up, my father wasn’t around much after I turned ten. I didn’t think of him as a bad father, because my love for him was unconditional. Yet, as I matured, I began seeing things clearly—he was absent in ways that shaped who I became. Many of us who didn’t have that active father figure grew up learning how to fend for ourselves. Maybe your father was distant, maybe he wasn’t present enough, or maybe he was entirely out of the picture. Whatever the case, it pushes you to become fiercely self-sufficient. And honestly, that’s a blessing in disguise. You learn to rely on no one but yourself. You become a force of nature, and life feels so much more manageable because you know, at the end of the day, you’ve got yourself.
But then love enters the picture. Men. The beings who crave to feel needed, who thrive on being essential in your life. So, what happens when an independent woman falls in love?
Two scenarios tend to unfold: in the first, you allow someone to pick up the pieces you never let anyone touch. You surrender to softness. Trust me, it’s not easy. Handing over control, letting someone else take the lead—it’s terrifying, but when it works, it’s pure magic. You finally let go and discover that there’s a sweet freedom in trusting someone to have your back.
Then there’s the other side, where your independence becomes a wall. Men, for all their complexity, sometimes see a woman who doesn’t “need” them and think they can relax. You become the woman who can handle anything, and before you know it, they start taking you for granted. They don’t mean to, but it’s easy to let things slide when you know she’ll be fine without you.
And here’s the thing: we don’t ask for much. We don’t nag, and we don’t beg. If we ask and you don’t show up, guess what? We’ll do it ourselves. But just because we can doesn’t mean we should have to. Independent women still deserve the same care, love, and attention. We may not say it, but we want to feel cherished too.
So, no—we haven’t become too independent. We’ve become who we needed to be. But even the strongest women need to be reminded that they deserve to rest, to lean on someone, and to be loved without question. Because independence is power, but love is magic.