➡ 𝙎𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙥𝙪𝙩𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙮, 𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛-𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙚𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙢𝙚𝙣. 𝙃𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧, 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙪𝙖𝙡. 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨. 𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛, 𝙚𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧. 𝘼𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙤𝙧 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨. 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙚'𝙨 𝙟𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙤𝙠𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙯𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙. 𝙏𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙥𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪.
Ah, the classic question. “When are you getting married?” I swear, it's like the second us women hit 20, everyone suddenly wants to know. Funnily enough all of the crew here at NOVI can't escape the marriage question! But fear not, dear readers, for we remain happily unattached. (laugh)
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't take the topic seriously. it's just that after hearing it a million times, it's hard not to find the humor in it. These days, I just shrug it off and chuckle. Maybe I was annoyed in my early 20s but now it is a question I can expect even from my little sister or my neighbor next door. Lol. Maybe someday I'll change my tune, but for now, it's just another day in the life of a 20 something.
Why Does Society Put More Pressure on Women to Marry Early?
In our society, us women mostly in our 20s and 30s are pressured to get married early and relate it to our self worth. Society makes us feel worthless for staying single and constantly reminds us that our biological clock is ticking and we need to marry early. The pressure also comes from our relatives and people around us because of their beliefs. Some people emphasize the importance of getting married early based on religion.
“Marriage is half the deen.” It's true that marriage is highly encouraged in Islam, but it's not something people should rush into. Marriage is considered a huge life commitment, as it is referred to as "half the deen". It requires both partners to dedicate much of the time, energy, patience and sometimes even make certain sacrifices.
People tend to overlook the reasons for why some may not choose to get married. Since childhood, we have been taught that life is a fairy tale and that a prince on a white horse will come to take care of us and give us a princess-like treatment. We can often find ourselves feeling pressured to get married and live out our visions of happily ever after. Consequently, these expectations can end up influencing our decision to get married without even realizing it.
Damsel in Distress - Treating Marriage as an Escape
Just like many "Damsel in Distress" scenes in cartoons and movies, where a young, unmarried woman is rescued by a male hero, some people think that women need to be saved by men through marriage. Society has perpetuated the idea that women need to rely on men for stability in life. Marriage should be based on love, respect, and understanding, and both partners should work together to create a harmonious and balanced dynamic in their married life.
However, marriage should never be rushed as a way to escape from life's problems. People often make the mistake of getting married quickly for stability without offering stability in return, which can cause many issues in the marriage. In many cases, marriages without love or contentment often lead to their eventual downfall.
Marriage should truly be a collaboration between two people, constantly growing and evolving. Women today are more ambitious, hardworking, and autonomous compared to just a few decades ago. This makes relationships more balanced and interdependent than ever before. 'Damsel in Distress' is no longer relevant to our modern day lives. Instead, we understand the need to take charge and make our lives better, finding the ideal partner who will provide us with a healthy, loving and equal relationship. Love that for us!
When Is the Right Time?
The answer to this question is very simple. The right time is the right time for you. The decision is solely yours. You need to understand that it is no one’s place to tell you the right time, not even your partner. It's not necessary to look for approval from others when deciding whether or not it's time to tie the knot. Listen to your intuition and be honest with yourself about what you want out of a marriage. Evaluate different factors that are meaningful to you before making a commitment.
Showing yourself kindness is so vital. If it is overwhelming, don't be too hard on yourself. Take a step back and use your time to think it through. You have all the time in the world. Once you get clarity about how you feel, making decisions will become easier for you. Making the decision to get married is a huge step and it's important for you to know how your partner feels about it beforehand. Talk it out with them or have an honest conversation if you're not sure.
No matter what, the choice should always be up to you.
Few Ways to Answer the Question Like a Pro?
While we may attempt to dodge the question, it remains a topic of conversation particularly with those close to us. Even people who don't really know us well can be somewhat curious about why we are still single or not married.
Whenever I'm out with my married friends, it often feels like the conversation revolves around their children and husbands. I do enjoy the conversation about their family but after sometime I start to ponder how I can contribute to the conversation and particularly answer the expected "When are you getting married?" question. So here are a few lines that you can use.
If you are single then…
∙ I will, when I’m ready
∙ You tell me when I should marry?
∙ I want to stay single a bit longer
∙ It’s next month, do come
∙ I’m ready, just waiting for my man to come into my life
∙ Probably when I’m 40
∙ I’m already married to myself
If you are in a relationship then…
∙ We are already married, forgot to tell you
∙ We are marrying on 30th February, next year
∙ It’s a surprise, you’ll know when you get the invitation
∙ We are taking it slow
∙ The same time as my partner
∙ Before the honeymoon
Society thinks there's some kind of magical switch that flips as soon as you hit a certain age. But let's be real, girls. Everyone's journey is different, and there's no one size fits all timeline for getting hitched.
If you're not feeling the whole marriage thing right now, it's totally okay to say so. You can politely shut down those nosy people with a simple, "Thanks, but I'm just focusing on my Netflix binge watching at the moment." If you're still looking for your significant other, it's important to remember that it's a unique journey that takes time. Don't feel pressured to settle down or conform to societal expectations. Take the necessary time to find the right companion for you.
When it comes to getting married, you do you. Don't let external pressure influence your decisions, and trust that your journey will unfold in the way that's right for you!