Every new generation finds it difficult to communicate openly about love, emotion, and behavior. These reactions actually stifle sharing and they cause it to turn into what seems insincere. In fact this is what rule number 5 promotes. ‘SHOW NO LOVE’. But if we can't express the content of our hearts and souls to other human beings, then what's the purpose and the benefit of living? Does it really make sense to live a whole life without saying, "I love you" and "Thank you"?.
Not Expressing Love
Some people find it difficult to show feelings. When you fail to act as a best friend toward your partner and your love fails to manifest, sooner or later some issues will crop up. For instance, one partner may start thinking they are not well-loved or good enough. This person will start feeling ignored, unappreciated, and not cared for regarding the way your partner acts. Such a scenario brings in low self-esteem, frustration, and depression, which can easily push the other partner into the arms of someone filling the emotional void. If both of you are not open in your expressions, it will be hard to notice any sort of dissatisfaction and misunderstandings, resulting in marriages or relationships encountering bigger strains.
It is very easy to notice you are not loved when the important expressions are not present. This can instigate feelings of inadequacy. When your partner doesn't say "I love you", doesn't give you a hug, or show excitement when meeting you as they used to, this can lead to a feeling of unworthiness in the other person. This is a dark zone because such thoughts lead to unreasonable assumptions and misunderstandings, which in the end puts undue pressure on the relationship. In addition, when a partner neglects good things, such as showing love, the other one quickly settles into a hostile and irritated mode.
Reasons for Not Showing Affection
There may be various reasons for not showing love. The hard truth is that in many relationships (from friendships to romantic ones), some sort of showing love is looked down upon and will not be tolerated. This in itself can lead to the reinforcing of this determination not to react to devices of love and/or affection or care. Also, in many cultures, people may have grown up with strict emotions control or otherwise developing and reinforcing such descriptions as "private," "strong". For some people, showing such emotions is like a command out of necessity rather than an accepted part of the multifaceted world that love is seen as. This thereby may just make it even more difficult and frightening to risk the alternative that a relationship may entail.
In many cultures, showing affection is discouraged for justified reasons. People who openly show affection in some manner are referred to with such words as "clueless," "naive" at best, and "stupid" at worst. This inability to show love can lead to various negative consequences, such as divorce and separation from family. At the same time, it reflects only the cons and may seem subjective.
Communication Challenges in Loveless Relationships
Stop for a moment and think. It is certain that instantly you can remember a friend, a known person, a partner who never shows affection, makes love statements especially in public, or never allows the word love to sit on his/her lips; doesn't he/she? Be careful! Though it is often accurate to discern oneself as such, we can never be too positive about someone else's love life. And even when you think you know everything, when you think you have all the necessary details about a person, it's very possible that you are nothing more than a mistaken observer. You think he is in love and it's mutual. Or you think he is lonely but when you listen carefully he is really satisfied. Or, even worse, the other way around. Be careful because there are many stories hidden between the lines, words, and contexts in a state of comfort or discomfort, whether it is enduring or emotional, when love becomes the center of the conversation.
When the attraction fades away, it's very common that partners start falling into different situations of silence. In a loveless relationship, both partners are capable of grabbing a coffee, judging the same people around them, going to IKEA, moving, or even traveling, but these habits are not shared anymore. You see a movie with your partner, but you don't share it. You don't talk about it, you don't pick your characters and discuss the fine details.
As love has every chance to fade away, loveless relationships are on the rise. The first motivation is the obvious one: loveless relationships are not challenging. They are cozy, in the most terrible, gas-like sense of the word. The second motivation is even more challenging: it's sex. People who have never been in this situation, who have never had a pretty long dry spell on an emotional level, are most likely to carry on with their statements that sex is good in relationships but when you come down to it, it's not that important. Wrong! It is important. Sex is, of course, also important in sweet, lovey-dovey relationships. But when things start to break or when they are already broken, sex is the lifeline.
Impact on Emotional Well-Being
What’s sad is when some relationships have all the potential to be great but they don't constantly feel as ecstatic. Couples who lack passion probably end up fighting because of the lack of love they need to feel to keep it exciting, and instead of fixing their concern they rather break up most of the time not even knowing why they’re really ending their relationship. They expect to reactivate showing love without fighting to fix the problem. Being in a relationship is hard work and every single day we need to remind each other why we should continue. The course of love depends on each other and the funny thing is that after you fall for someone – always without choice – you must make the decision of loving that someone every day after, and not for what you want from that person, but for the love and companionship you are willing to give to make it last.
One of the most difficult things to cope with after a break-up is the undeniable lack of love that you feel after it ends. It’s a heartbreaking fact that once you’ve completely loved someone, part of you will never be able to un-love them. Even if we try to deny it, there will always be the love whispering in our ears, pulling us back when we stretch so that we can push further away. All of that is a part of learning—we see what love is when it is not working or we embrace how powerful love is when love is returned. Because when it is good, when everything feels electric, everyone remembers what it feels like to be alive.
Finding a Balance in Expressing Love
We can only improve when we challenge each other, but that means that we will sometimes hurt each other and handle problems poorly. If we obscure the reality of that struggle, then we are trying to make ourselves safe from our own growth in the relationship. You can't control love. But that's a good thing. Looking at a person we love, we often think: I can't believe this person. We are still excited by the shy, wounded, but also generous soul of our special person. Although we have matured in our relationships, although love teaches us trust and confidence, we can still find those moments of strange, irritating doubt.
One thing we can learn from this paradox is that we can find the key to real commitment, not by being absolutely terrified of losing our partners or by being convinced that we have control over the relationship, but simply by loving each other more. Real commitment grows from love. It is not a substitute - a way of creating a facade of safety that belies a lack of trust and actual love. It's good to feel secure for all manner of reasons, but to actively seek a complete lack of vulnerability because of some fantasy of "safety" is not how anything grows. If you are protected from rejection, then you're not in touch with the value or the joy of that love. And that only guarantees that the relationship will stagnate and you'll limit what it can be.