➡ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙙𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙍𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙣, 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜. 𝙄𝙩 𝙨𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙘𝙪𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙡𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝙄𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣'𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙙𝙨. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙡𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙍𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙣 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙪𝙡𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙡𝙡.
From a young age, we were taught that Ramadan is a special period of spiritual growth and closeness to Allah. That being said, I have seen that women in my social circle, including the ones closest to me, have to juggle multiple tasks while fasting. Along with the chores like grand food preparation and childcare, some of them manage work obligations on top of that. The weight of responsibility is tremendous during this period of the year for us women.
As I grew older, I have been trying to understand it from a critical perspective rather than tying these obligations and expectations to Islam. It is vital to talk about the difficulties that us women experience during the month of Ramadan and suggest viable solutions to observe Ramadan fully.
Rooted From Culture, Not Religion
Ramadan is an obligation for all Muslims regardless of gender. Unfortunately, the negative influence of patriarchy has created a discrepancy between men and women's Ramadan experiences in our society. Thus, this religious month has become a lot difficult for women. In our Maldivian culture, like many other Asian Households, women are expected to do all of the household chores while fasting.
I've often seen women preparing food for Suhoor (Haaru), Iftar, and after Tharaweeh, which is quite a task. They have to decide what to cook for each one, as well as make sure they have the necessary ingredients. Interestingly enough, the men don't usually take part in meal preparation even though they tend to eat a fair share of the food.
In many households, men are served first while women have to wait. And after the meal, the dishes are also washed by the females in the house and they don't even get to eat until after everyone else is done. This is an unfair practice that should be changed.
However in Islam…
There are no rules to serve an abundance of food and drink for Suhoor and iftar like they are these days. There are certainly no rules that say men should eat first to break fast. The goal of fasting is to feel empathy and understanding for those who are deprived of regular meals throughout the year. It is to help both men and women to realize our blessings and be more thankful.
Taking care of our family is, of course, a rewarding experience. Though it would be best to prepare meals with help from the men in our household to spare more time for spiritual reflection and fulfill the purpose of Ramadan, as Ramadan is for everyone.
Finding Time for Religious Activities
I have seen so many women facing a hard time managing their lifestyle and religious aspects of Ramadan. But what we forget is that Ramadan is not about achieving balance in life, our first priority should be to develop and strengthen our relationship with Allah, more than ordinary months.
If we are constantly doing things like working, cooking, and looking after kids, it is only natural for us to feel exhausted afterwards. Taking care of our families can sometimes lead us to unintentionally lose connection with Allah. We should never rush our sunnah and quran recitations. Men have the flexibility to take their time in prayers, so why should women be any different? We all deserve equal chances to devote our time and effort in worship.
Menstruation, a Bigger Taboo During Ramadan
In Islam, menstruating women are exempted from fasting during Ramadan. It is allowed for women to eat during the day. This seems all fine from a religious perspective. But again, it is so hard to follow in most of the Maldivian households. The menstruating women have to be careful not to let anyone see us eat or drink, especially the men in the house. Many of us opt to stay in our rooms or the kitchen. This could be difficult in small homes as hiding while eating can be a challenge. So, these women remain hungry throughout the day without having to observe a fast. This is not at all healthy for us women. There are women who suffer a lot during their menstruation period. Therefore, it's essential to maintain a good diet in order to help reduce the pain associated with it.
Ultimately, menstruation is an essential bodily process. There's nothing remotely embarrassing or shameful about it. We women should have the freedom of consuming food without any guilt when we are not fasting. No one should be allowed to tell us what to do or how to eat discreetly. The decision should be entirely up to us. This taboo needs to end.
To Men and Women…
Dear men, please do your part and make an effort to keep the suhoor (haaru) and Iftar meals simple this Ramadan. Don't add pressure to the women in your family, rather take part in the household chores with us. This is in accordance with Sunnah and remember that we are fasting as well. And allow us to eat during our periods without judgements. Be more understanding that we are still suffering even though we are not fasting.
And to us women, why not cut down on the housework and make it a more equal responsibility between yourself and the men in your home? Free up your time to get the most out of this holy month. Especially if you are also working just like your partner or men in your family. I understand that It might be difficult because of the long lasting traditions. Nevertheless, change often begins with us and I am delighted to witness these changes slowly taking shape with our generation.
I wish that this can pave the way for more open conversations about these topics in our community.
𝙈𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡, 𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 - 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙍𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙣, 𝙚𝙣𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝘼𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙝.